Failure is a Detour to Success

vol. 3 | ch. 1

September 2022 | By Brittany Miletto

“Somewhere along the line you’re going to win no matter how many times you’ve lost.”

We’ve all been in a headspace that was so focused on our failures and what we didn’t end up doing or accomplishing. How beautiful would it be to live in a world where we were so overjoyed with our successes and the things that have made us who we are. I’ve fallen so many times I can’t even count. I wasn’t sure how to get back up after completing losing myself in the process. I harped on my wrongdoings and what I lost. 

Let me tell you a story not many people know about me. I failed my NCLEX a couple of times. To say that out loud is the scariest thing I could do but also freeing because I’ve held onto it for a massive amount of time. After the first time, I gave myself a little slack because I knew I wasn’t ready yet. After the next couple, it completely destroyed my self-confidence and I was on the brick of giving up my dream of being a nurse. Something I’ve wanted since I was sick in CHOP at 15 years old. The only thing that kept me going before I finally passed was the fact that my dad had passed away months before. I wanted a part of my victory to be shared with him. When I was in CHOP, he looked at me, looked at our nurse, then back at me and said,

“This will be you one day.” 

I didn’t totally just continue my fight to become a nurse because of my dad. I did it because people believed in me. However, I needed to believe in myself. I’m totally not a good test taker. I struggled in nursing school. A lot. But, when you love something enough you don’t stop chasing it. On my dad’s 6th month anniversary, September 21 2021, I sat down for my NCLEX. I passed. Now, I’m an outpatient cardiac nurse with the best job ever.

I told you this story because I’m sure you have a similar one, and you’re still beating yourself up for not doing something right the first time. What I’ve learned is to go back in time and repaint the picture you see of yourself during your failure. I see a weak, helpless girl each time I’ve failed. The picture almost makes me angry. What I’m going to do is look at the girl from the outside, and tell her what she needed to hear at the time. I’m painting the picture of myself pink because that’s my favorite color and I’m giving that girl the biggest hug. You know why? Everything happens when it’s supposed to. I wasn’t supposed to be a nurse when I thought I should have. The timing wasn’t right and I needed to figure some things out. 

When you’re stuck in a negative headspace and you are harping on your past failures, I want you to remind yourself that people you don’t even know have gone through something similar. I didn’t tell people I failed my NCLEX because I was so embarrassed. But why is failing something we focus on so much more than succeeding? When I passed, I thought I’d be overjoyed. I was, but then I immediately thought “well anyone could have done that.” And that’s where the issue lies. Be proud of yourself and the circumstances it took you to get where you are. You are allowed to be happy for yourself. You’re allowed to put your mental health first.

And lastly, I promise you, when you’re not expecting it, you’re going to have the biggest win of your life. I’m praying for you.

By Brittany Miletto (RN)